Psssst! Got a secret for you. Don’t tell anyone. We don’t want the whole world to know.

The secret? It’s almost impossible to get a parking ticket in the town of Floyd, Virginia.

Yeah, we know. There are signs on Main and Locust Sreets limiting parking to two hours. But what happens if you park all day?

 Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Enforcement of Floyd’s parking ordinances falls under the jurisdiction of the Town Constable.

The what?

Town Constable.  Only problem is, Floyd hasn’t had a Town Constable for a long, long time.

Town Manager Mike Maslaney says there’s a uniform for the Town Constable in storage at the Town Hall. But he doesn’t have plans to hire one anytime in the near future. It’s not in the budget.

Floyd County Sheriff’s deputies are not empowered to write parking tickets inside town limits. Neither are Virginia State Troopers. They can write a ticket if you park in front of a fire hydrant — that’s a violation of state law.

But other parking regulations are part of the town ordinance and must be enforced by the Town Constable.

If we had one.

Which we don’t.